The other day, S piped up from the backseat "Mommy, how come you never exercise?"
Well, harumph.
The first reply I composed in my head was, "I do exercise every day all day. It's called bend overs and pick ups. I bend over and pick up your clothes. I bend over and put the wash in the washer and bend over and pull the clean clothes out of the dryer. I bend over and pick you up as you dance up and down in front of me, chanting. I bend over the tub to wash your hair and pick your sopping wet, slithery like an eel, jumping, jiving body out of the tub. I bend over to load the dishwasher and to vacuum up the bits of Play-Doh that have glued themselves into the rug."
The next reply I composed in my head was "Just wait until you hit the thirties. Believe it or not, there was a time I could sit on the toilet and actually still see the toilet seat underneath me instead of my thighs flopping over the sides. I could wear a swimsuit 8 hours a day lifeguarding and not worry that the back of my legs look like they have been hit by shrapnel. My arms would stop waving when I did. I had only one chin. My clothing size was in the single digits. I actually had a distinguishable waist and nobody ever incorrectly asked me when I was due."
What I actually mumbled was something closer to, "Because I hate it and would rather poke a pen in my eye."
1 comment:
AHHH, this had me laughing out loud!!! Truly at the heart of the matter, i hate exercising too. I could think of a million things that i would rather do... most of them include food.
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