Why Some People Remain Unemployed

Recently, while reviewing mounds of applicants for an opening at the business that I partially own, I began to realize why some people will probably remain unemployed...let me share some examples:

One lady wrote that she completed school through the 11th grade and then under "Diploma", she lists "GED due to pregnancy". Thanks for sharing that information right up front...

Or the guy who says "I want a job that benefits me but also the company I work for. I have a ton of people skills." A ton? How do you like that measurement?

Or the lady who listed her previous employment and under job description, she writes "clean my area each night". I finally Googled the employer to find out it was a restaurant...whew! I was hoping she didn't work for a gynecologist!

Or the guy who said he worked at a "fast paced meat packing plant" and his job responsibility was "making sure there was nothing wrong with the product also that it was cut properly."

Or the lady who said "I have dne diffrent forms of volenteer work" but must not know how to use spell check on her computer.

Or the lady who addressed her application "Dear Sirs"...yeah...last time I (or my husband checked), I had yet to go through gender reassignment surgery.

My favorite was the enthusiastic guy who said "In response to your advertisement on Monster.com (which was not where it was posted) for the position of Regional Sales Associate (the position was "District Sales Representative), I am a young versatile salesman, ready and motivated to teach about your company's credit card program (good for you...only its not a credit card company). I can start training two weeks after hire (and what will you do for those two weeks prior? Hang out? Check your email?). My guess was he used a cut and paste form and forgot to change the variable data.

And of course, honorable mention goes to all those with crazy email handles...so here's a shout out to Indiana Janky, Biker Trash, Smooth Princess, Legs, Feathers, FeelnPurdy, and Racin' Rod. Best of luck in your job search. Might I suggest you pick a more staid email address to use next time.

Black Market Transactions

Now that the basement is nearing completion, we are beginning the search again for more children to adopt. I told Husband this time, we get boys so when we are out in public, HE gets to be the one to take them to the bathroom. Plus, I'm developing early arthritis from all this corn-rowing, beading, twisting, and braiding of "ethnic" girl hair.

After watching "The Blind Side", I had a brief moment where I considered being noble and selfless and adopting an older child but decided for my bonding purposes, I needed them young enough to not yet realize they can get up out of their time-out spot. Of course, I also want them old enough where I don't have to have the anxiety that they are currently expiring in their crib due to SIDS. I don't know how new moms do it. Maybe new motherhood makes you so tired you can no longer stay awake wondering if your child is breathing or choking.

It feels a little funny to "pick out" your children...as if you are inspecting a horse by its teeth or reviewing slave labor up on an auction block. How in the world do we decide the future of this family and of one or more boys simply from a meeting or description? And trust me, being involved in foster care, you get REALLY good at reading between the lines on a description of a child.

Take for instance, my current adoption catalog has "Gregory", age 14...says that although he "sometimes needs to be pushed in the right direction, Gregory has the capacity to make good, mature choices". If you spend enough time as a foster mom, you can figure out that between the lines, this means he's probably not making a single, "good, mature choice" right now. Or when they say a kid "does best with one on one attention", it means he's HIGHLY ADHD...if it says, "Would do best in a home without other children", that probably means some history of acting out sexually against other children...or physically. When it says, "parent will need to be involved in child's education", it means you will be at the school daily trying to explain to your child that they have to sit in their seat and not try to set the classroom on fire.

I guess it's a bit like reviewing ads for new homes...when one says its a "great starter home" and what it is really saying is that its the Tom Hanks version of the "Money Pit". Or when they take up the limited advertising space to mention ceiling fans, you realize the home really does not have a single redeeming quality.

But then I think about the type of child I was and wondered what my profile would have read...hmmm...

"Bossy, attention seeking child, does best when she is the star, hides out in her room reading to avoid chores, will lie constantly as a teenager to keep from getting in trouble, has a mouth of a sailor when provoked, can wrestle like a boy but can't play sports to save her life, will vacillate between self-doubt and WAY overconfidence, will total two vehicles during her teenage years and will take all of 20 years to finally become a contributing member of society."

Yeah, pretty sure I would have been passed over selection by my parents had they known how much I would contribute to their hair turning gray! And so we trust God to see what we don't see and to realize that, unlike your natural born children, ours come with a return policy if everything explodes. We just hope we never have to use it.

I Have a Dream...Farm Riding!

Kate brings home a blank white square of paper from school with a note accompanying it. The note says that the students are making an "I Have a Dream..." quilt at school in honor of MLK Day and the student is supposed to draw a picture of their "dream".

I turn to Kate and ask her what her dream is. She lights up and says, "When I grow up, I'm going to be a farm rider!"

Say what? I ask her if she is going to be a tractor? She says, "No! A farm rider!" I ask, "What, pray tell, is a farm rider?"

She replies, "I am going to have a farm and ride horses." Ahhhh...hence the term "farm rider". Not horse rider, mind you, but farm rider.

We are now working on the word "Equestrian".