Why Some People Remain Unemployed

Recently, while reviewing mounds of applicants for an opening at the business that I partially own, I began to realize why some people will probably remain unemployed...let me share some examples:

One lady wrote that she completed school through the 11th grade and then under "Diploma", she lists "GED due to pregnancy". Thanks for sharing that information right up front...

Or the guy who says "I want a job that benefits me but also the company I work for. I have a ton of people skills." A ton? How do you like that measurement?

Or the lady who listed her previous employment and under job description, she writes "clean my area each night". I finally Googled the employer to find out it was a restaurant...whew! I was hoping she didn't work for a gynecologist!

Or the guy who said he worked at a "fast paced meat packing plant" and his job responsibility was "making sure there was nothing wrong with the product also that it was cut properly."

Or the lady who said "I have dne diffrent forms of volenteer work" but must not know how to use spell check on her computer.

Or the lady who addressed her application "Dear Sirs"...yeah...last time I (or my husband checked), I had yet to go through gender reassignment surgery.

My favorite was the enthusiastic guy who said "In response to your advertisement on Monster.com (which was not where it was posted) for the position of Regional Sales Associate (the position was "District Sales Representative), I am a young versatile salesman, ready and motivated to teach about your company's credit card program (good for you...only its not a credit card company). I can start training two weeks after hire (and what will you do for those two weeks prior? Hang out? Check your email?). My guess was he used a cut and paste form and forgot to change the variable data.

And of course, honorable mention goes to all those with crazy email handles...so here's a shout out to Indiana Janky, Biker Trash, Smooth Princess, Legs, Feathers, FeelnPurdy, and Racin' Rod. Best of luck in your job search. Might I suggest you pick a more staid email address to use next time.