A Visit from the Boys in Yellow

We have been having quite a week with our oldest Squirrel.  I think she may have been dropped on her head as a baby or maybe fed paint chips.  I caught her in the pool with her Sunday shoes on (leather, mind you) and when I asked her what possessed her to swim in leather shoes, she told me, "Lots of people exercise in the pool with their shoes on."  I informed her those were Aqua Socks and made especially for water...and that leather does not qualify (sigh). 

Then I catch her with a giant pitcher of orange juice, a Mickey Mouse mug filled to the brim, leaning over on her hands and knees outside, lapping the juice like a dog. 

BRAIN DAMAGED.  I worry about this girl. 

The crowning moment was when she threw a hissy fit after being told to make her bed on Saturday.  Granted, she was running on a half night of sleep because I let her stay up late on Friday night, trying to finish her big library book so she could get 32 accelerated reading points for school (evidently, very important) and she was up very early in the morning.  She went off into hysterics, stomped to her room, packed a suitcase with who knows what, stood in the doorway and shouted that she was running away. 

This isn't the first time she has said such...and we usually nonchalantly tell her we sure are sorry to see her go but if she feels she must, she must.  She took off down the street and went around the corner. 

In typical fashion, she was back 10 minutes later cheerfully shouting out a greeting of "I'mmmmm bbbbaaack" (imagine this in sunshine, sing-songy tones). 

15 minutes after that, the doorbell rang and we were greeted by...the McAllen Police Department...in their neon yellow polyester shirts.  We were informed that a neighbor had called the police stating that someone in a red vehicle had tried to get Elisabeth to into his or her car.  SAY WHAT? 

We asked Elisabeth and she denied that anyone in any car said anything to her.  She did finally remember that she saw a red convertible waiting to turn onto the highway from our subdivision but swears up and down that the driver did not say anything to her. 

We were heavily scolded by the police who told us that our children cannot even bike in the neighborhood alone until they are 14 years of age.  He asked us what we would have done if Elisabeth was kidnapped.  At that point, she had ticked me off so much that I had to bite back a retort of "I would say that the kidnapper would be calling us to BEG that we take her back!".  Instead, I sheepishly muttered that we were unaware that the laws were so restrictive on her being able to bike or walk around the block and it wouldn't happen again. 

So we don't really know what happened.  Our guess is that there was no attempted kidnapping but that the neighbor was concerned because Elisabeth was out by the highway with a suitcase.  Whatever the case may be, I now will be doing a lot more biking with the kids until they are old enough to go by themselves.  We are definitely not in Cougarville anymore!

Delusions of a Wannabe CIA Spy

No sooner had we settled in South Texas then it was time to leave for a week of family vacation with my awesome sisters and 20+ nieces and nephews.  We go as a family every two years and so this vacation was planned two years in advance...and we just happened to pick the hottest week ever in Branson, MO. 

I won't go much more into that week - suffice it to say that I had vacation brain the whole time - but it was the start of watching past seasons of the TV show "Alias", the far-fetched J.J. Abrams series involving a grad student working undercover as CIA Operative Sydney Bristow.  Erin had long told me that the show was addicting - at least the first three seasons - and so she became my pusher and my other sisters willing accomplices to every episode. 

From Branson, Husband, Squirrels and I headed out to Palmer Lake, CO for three weeks of missionary training at Mission Training International www.mti.org - a program called SPLICE as it covered Spiritual, Personal, Language, Interpersonal, Cultural, and Endurance/Enjoyment experiences we would anticipate on the field.  The class had 44 adults and about 30 kids and we had the privilege of meeting extraordinary (and hilarious) people from all over the US that were going all over the world - to places that make drug-riddled Mexico look like Kindergarten.  As I looked around the room, I thought to myself that this line up of characters would never be picked out of a lineup as looking like the typical flowered, flounced dress with lace collar Christian.  And I loved them for it! 

Halfway through the second week, as we were discussing who we are under conflict when we were led into a hostage simulation.  We were told that rebel forces had forced a coup and we had to go into hiding until we could find a way out of the city.  We split into two teams and crammed 22 people each into two small plywood shelters.  That is a lot of oxygen depletion and sweating bodies in one small space.  We had to keep quiet and try to figure out what to do as secret messages were smuggled back and forth between the groups. 

This is when my Sydney Bristow-infused brain became dangerous.  I began to imagine that I could karate kick the gun out of the rebel's hand, train it back on him, and allow my fellow hostages to escape out the door.  In real life, this would have seriously backfired as my athletic prowess was missing in my DNA since birth but in my head, I was Xena Warrior Princess! 

Thankfully, the simulation ended before my crazy thoughts turned into actions, and a week later, we were saying goodbye to dear friends who completely understand this leap of faith and all the emotions that surround it.  We returned to South Texas where the only hairy part of my day is trying to dodge all the bridge vendors selling oversized die-cast Virgin Marys, large plastic cowboy boots, and window washing services.  No rebel forces or plywood hostage shelters in sight .