Chocolate Stingrays Take on Water!

Three years ago when the Squirrels first descended upon the big house in the little woods, they had nary a single swim experience to their credit.  Beings that I knew the K Family Christmas (think Griswolds) would involve a three night stay at a Bear Lodge-looking motel complete with indoor-to-outdoor pool (swimming under some plastic flaps), I figured rather than be a nervous wreck the whole time, I would teach the Squirrels to swim. 

My mom, who earlier in her life had a near-drowning experience when someone threw her in the water and told her to "Sink or Swim" (and she pretty much sunk) had secretly been taking swim lessons (as a surprise to her kids whose sightings of Mom in a swimsuit were as rare as Yeti-sightings) at a local health club.  Mom sprung for a few weeks of passes so I could teach the girls to swim. 

Lesson #1 involved both girls not keeping their mouth shut in the water so they would come up coughing and belching.  Kate even threw up at one point and I didn't want the club to shut the pool down (darn health inspectors) so I quickly shoveled the pukey water over the edge into a nearby drain (what we don't do for our kids, right?  I have a super resistance to my gag reflex after being puked on so many times).  We persistently worked every week, all winter long, to reach a point where I felt that if the girls fell into water over their head, they could flail fast enough to reach the edge of the pool. 

Katybird's progress was tested a few months later on a family vacation when she tried to step on a floatation device in the deep end of our vacation home pool and she wound up bobbing in the deep end.  Aunt Dona quickly reached in and pulled her out.  After that point, I determined a Barbie lifejacket was in order the rest of the vacation. 

Cut to this summer where not only have the girls mostly learned to swim, they are even (drumroll please) on the local swim team, the Stingrays.  My kids are easy to spot.  They have scrawny brown bird legs and big puffy heads as they try to fit their 'fros under their latex swim caps.  

Kate spent the first few meets swimming about four strokes before clutching the ropes and breathing hard.  Eli, so adept at all other sports, just can't quite seem to coordinate her kicks with her arm strokes or to lengthen her arms during the freestyle.  They also get nervous at swim meets and beings I took them off their magic blue pills for the summer (in the hopes they would put on weight and sleep better), they have taken to burning off their pent-up energy by chewing on their goggles and swim caps.  Seriously.  Eli managed to wreck three pairs of goggles and two swim caps.  Kate has wrecked four pairs of goggles (including MY pair I lent her) and two swim caps.  I hear rumor that there are such things as bungee cords for swim goggles.  I need more like titanium swim goggles.  It might make the Squirrels sink but at least I could stop forking over all this money to keep them outfitted in swim gear all summer!

The last meet of the year is coming up soon.  Katybird has managed to be able to swim the length of the pool without drowning (we were pretty sure I was going to have to go in after her on her first 100 meter individual medley) or crying (which she did in abundance when her record-setting cousin Grace came in first for a rival team and poor Katybird came in last by several meters) and Eli can now do a flip turn during her freestyle AND swim mostly in a straight line on her backstroke. 

Now that's what I call PROGRESS! 

Pond Jumps & Bieber Fever

Long overdue is a recap of the 9th birthday of Eli the Squirrel...from the land of Fruits and Nuts.  We decided Eli could invite every girl in her class since we planned to stay on the reservation AND she may not be in Cougarville the next time her birthday rolls around.  We didn't quite realize the havoc 8 giggling, frenetic little girls could create in less than 12 hours. 

The girls came bounding off the bus and dropping backpacks and lunch bags everywhere.  Eli obsesses about her birthday year 'round, so much so that we had to make a rule that she couldn't talk about her birthday until April 1st each year.  You may think that is harsh but LITERALLY the girl would bring it up every day if she could - enlightening me on the latest activity, guest list, and cake flavor she currently planned to ask for.  So when the actual birthday party happens, she is goes into a whole 'nother stratosphere of hyperactive and starts running from room to room, showing off her "treasures" while talking a mile a minute.  We call this "company mode" as she starts acting like she can mouth off to her parents and break all the rules.  A quick nip from Momzilla reminds her that she's getting a little big for her britches. 

Supper with the girls went well and then Eli decided that she would show the girls how Lumpy and Spazzoid, our spastic black labs, like to swim in a nearby pond.  This led to the girls all trying to throw dog treats in the water from the dock while Lumpy and Spazzoid swam in circles trying to gobble up the treats - only to get mouthfuls of pond water that would make them hack and gag. 

  

 Then one thing led to another and the girls decided they were going to jump into the pond...fully clothed...in mid-May.  The water had to be less than 60 degrees but when they asked if they could do it, Husband and I just looked at each other.  I could see his wheels turning.  On the one hand, this could lead to a huge disastrous mob of wet girls with pond scum hair.  On the other hand, the girls would remember this party forever.  We decided to channel our childhood memories and said, "Sure.  But watch out for the snapping turtles."  We hoped to scare the girls into rethinking their decision.  No such luck.  One by one, they jumped into the pond except for the one girl who couldn't swim.  The dock did not have a ladder so Husband and I took turns pulling the girls up out of the water. 

We trudged back to the house where I shuttled all the girls to three different showers and dumped a load of stinky pond scum clothes into the washer.  Freshly scrubbed, the girls had cake and ice cream while Eli opened presents.  Then on to the basement for the viewing of the Justin Bieber movie "Never Say Never".  Quite frankly, I am about tired of hearing about "Bieber Fever" but the girls were enamored.  I came down the next morning to find lip and hand prints on the television.  Oh dear...

But I guess we all had our crushes.  I gazed adoringly at Kirk Cameron in "Teen Bop" magazine and my first poster to go up in my own room (when I finally didn't have to share with Erin) was Jason Priestly from "Beverly Hills 90210".  My sister Susan hid posters behind the clothes in her closet...Jackson 5, Duran Duran, Kenny Loggins.  She also had posters from "Dirty Dancing" (and the matching plethora of cut off jean shorts with rolled cuffs to match). 

So after much dancing to Taylor Swift, Bieber Fevering, and late night snacks, the girls finally drifted off to sleep.  And managed to sleep until dawn when they came bounding upstairs to make the most of their final hours together.  While Husband and I blearily came downstairs and tracked down missing shoes, made breakfast, and otherwise were thankful we only do this once a year per kid.