Three years ago when the Squirrels first descended upon the big house in the little woods, they had nary a
single swim experience to their credit. Beings that I knew the K Family Christmas (think Griswolds) would involve a three night stay at a Bear Lodge-looking motel complete with indoor-to-outdoor pool (swimming under some plastic flaps), I figured rather than be a nervous wreck the whole time, I would teach the Squirrels to swim.
My mom, who earlier in her life had a near-drowning experience when someone threw her in the water and told her to "Sink or Swim" (and she pretty much sunk) had secretly been taking swim lessons (as a surprise to her kids whose sightings of Mom in a swimsuit were as rare as Yeti-sightings) at a local health club. Mom sprung for a few weeks of passes so I could teach the girls to swim.
Lesson #1 involved both girls not keeping their mouth shut in the water so they would come up coughing and belching. Kate even threw up at one point and I didn't want the club to shut the pool down (darn health inspectors) so I quickly shoveled the pukey water over the edge into a nearby drain (what we don't do for our kids, right? I have a super resistance to my gag reflex after being puked on so many times). We persistently worked every week, all winter long, to reach a point where I felt that if the girls fell into water over their head, they could flail fast enough to reach the edge of the pool.
Katybird's progress was tested a few months later on a family vacation when she tried to step on a floatation device in the deep end of our vacation home pool and she wound up bobbing in the deep end. Aunt Dona quickly reached in and pulled her out. After that point, I determined a Barbie lifejacket was in order the rest of the vacation.
Cut to this summer where not only have the girls mostly learned to swim, they are even (drumroll please) on the local swim team, the Stingrays. My kids are easy to spot. They have scrawny brown bird legs and big puffy heads as they try to fit their 'fros under their latex swim caps.
Kate spent the first few meets swimming about four strokes before clutching the ropes and breathing hard. Eli, so adept at all other sports, just can't quite seem to coordinate her kicks with her arm strokes or to lengthen her arms during the freestyle. They also get nervous at swim meets and beings I took them off their magic blue pills for the summer (in the hopes they would put on weight and sleep better), they have taken to burning off their pent-up energy by chewing on their goggles and swim caps. Seriously. Eli managed to wreck three pairs of goggles and two swim caps. Kate has wrecked four pairs of goggles (including MY pair I lent her) and two swim caps. I hear rumor that there are such things as bungee cords for swim goggles. I need more like titanium swim goggles. It might make the Squirrels sink but at least I could stop forking over all this money to keep them outfitted in swim gear all summer!
The last meet of the year is coming up soon. Katybird has managed to be able to swim the length of the pool without drowning (we were pretty sure I was going to have to go in after her on her first 100 meter individual medley) or crying (which she did in abundance when her record-setting cousin Grace came in first for a rival team and poor Katybird came in last by several meters) and Eli can now do a flip turn during her freestyle AND swim mostly in a straight line on her backstroke.
Now that's what I call PROGRESS!
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