The Duke vs. The Crazy Birds

For the past several mornings, we have had a pair of deranged robins trying to dive bomb our south-facing windows.  Am not sure why they so desperately want to get into the house but in the midst of all their dive bombing, they are leaving mass quantities of bird do on our deck railing. 
If I stand at the window, they turn their head sideways and blink incessantly at me...and stop their dive bombing.  However, I cannot be at the window all day so I thought I came up with an ingenious solution. 

John Wayne. 

You see, John Wayne, or at least the life-sized cardboard cutout of him, was a "premarital acquisition" of Husband's.  He also had Clint Eastwood but Dirty Harry has since been bequeathed to my sister's ranch where I am sure he was bestowed a place of honor.  John Wayne, however, was too dear for my husband to part with so The Duke has made every single move with us. 

At one point, I figured "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" and placed Clint and John in our Christmas photo. 

But as of late, John Wayne was collecting dust behind our entertainment center in the exercise room.  Until today...

I brought The Duke out of hiding, dusted him off, and set him up against the south-facing window.  Problem solved! 

But only temporarily.  The crazed birds saw that The Duke didn't move and quickly caught on to my scheme. 

Not to be outdone, Katybird came up with her own solution...using her stuffed "pony in a purse" along with deranged neighing sounds to scare off the birds. 



Not sure who is crazier now...the birds or Katybird!

It's Pouring Now!

On March 2, I put a blog post out about really believing that God would grant my prayer for our house to sell and preparing to receive that answered prayer.  We were getting ready to put the house back on the market after two and a half months of "down time" since we had been consistently on the market since May of 2011. 
My first day to have time to start packing was Saturday, March 10th. 

On Sunday, March 11th, we received an offer. After some negotiating back and forth, we have ACCEPTED THE OFFER!  Closing is set for April 30th. 

So God chose to show off and show me that He can sell my house even if it is not on the market.  Not only that, but the young man buying the house told us that as he walked the property line, he came across an old refrigerator with three bullet holes in it down in the ravine at the bottom of the woods.  Seventeen years ago, he was deer hunting with his dad and he missed the deer.  His dad made him do some target practice into an abandoned refrigerator. 

It's the same refrigerator.  Little did he know that 17 years later, he would own that same property.  And hopefully someday teach his own son to hunt on this land.  Someone once said that coincidence is just God's way of remaining anonymous.  I say, "Amen".

So our next steps?  The new owners have graciously agreed to let us stay at the property until the Squirrels are done with school, then we have a retreat with our sending agency in California and a family wedding before loading up and moving out on July 9th.  No sooner will we get settled in on the border than we have to be back for a family vacation and then on to Colorado for three weeks of missionary training at Mission Training International www.mti.org .  Finally, as soon as the girls are in school, Husband and I begin 9 months of language training in Mcallen to become fluent in Spanish and LSM (Mexican Sign Language). 

Reynosa or bust...Isaiah 55 better batten the hatches because the Squirrels are about to hit town!



Preparing for Rain

We have taken a couple of months off from having our home officially listed on the market for two reasons:
1) Barren trees, dormant plants, and gray skies do not make for good curb appeal. 
2) Keeping a show-ready house with two spastic children is enough to may one consider taking up a bourbon addiction. 

But alas, we are getting ready to go on the market again.  The last time, I let the national news about the economy, the (horrid) real estate market, and just my general approach to life (which is to keep a cynical attitude so when things don't go my way, I am not surprised) take over my brain. 

This time, I am "preparing for rain".  This scene from "Facing the Giants" (among the list of movies that make me cry every time even if the acting is sub par) keeps replaying in my head.  Let me set the scene:

The football coach of a losing Christian school team has his life unraveling around his ears - mounting debts, infertility, and a losing football team with attitude problems.  He is in his office late one night wondering out loud to God about why when a man who routinely comes to pray over the school stops by the coach's office with a message:


So this time, I am not only putting the house back on the market, I am starting to pack. I may end up looking like a fool but I am trusting God to "bring the rain". We are fully funded for our first year and within about $10,000 of recurring contributions for our second year and beyond...which anyone who does personal support-raising can tell you is a MAJOR PRAISE (and no, asking for people to join our support team does not get any less awkward with time).

So I am trusting...bring on the rain!

The Pretzel Bandit and the In School Suspension

This week I bring you yet another (not so) proud parenting moment...
I received a call from Eli's elementary principal yesterday.  There was a mysterious case of the disappearing pretzels in the third grade classroom.  The pretzels were being stolen out of the classroom when no one was in there at the end of the school day.  Suspicions were cast on a third grade boy but after an interrogation by the principle, the third grade boy was declared innocent on all counts. 

The third and fourth grade teachers decided to set up a sting operation, turning off all lights in the classroom (as usual) for the last period of the day, and the third grade teacher sat in the dark in the classroom. 

And to whom did her wondering eyes appear?  But my daughter. 

Confronted by the principal, Eli confessed to her misdeeds but couldn't say why she (a fourth grader) was sneaking into the third grade classroom to take pretzels from the teacher's stash.  The principal informed me that the punishment would be in school suspension for one day and that she would have to miss her class Valentine party. 

Eli came slowly and woefully off the bus yesterday, her head hanging like a whipped puppy.  The first thing she said and she climbed in the blue bus was "Don't be mad at me, Mommy!"  I told her we would talk when her dad got home. 

By the time Husband arrived home, Eli had made "lemons out of lemonade" and decided that since she still got to keep her Valentine candy, it wasn't so bad to be suspended.  We asked her why she was taking the pretzels and she didn't have any reason.  I asked her if she was hungry to which she said, "Not really."  I asked her if it gave her a thrill to do something she knew was wrong and she gave me a confused look. 

So we don't have a reason as to why.  We know she exhibited some of this "hoarding" or "stealing" behavior at a former foster home because she told us she used to wait for her foster mom to fall asleep and then she would sneak out and get Pop-Tarts from the cabinet.  And on a couple of occasions, I found candy wrappers behind her bed so I knew she was sneaking candy in there despite being told not to without permission. 

Eli was dreading today.  We made her buy a replacement bag of pretzels to take to the third grade teacher and she had to apologize to her teacher and the third grade teacher.  Hopefully this lesson learned today will prevent her from future foolish decisions that have greater repercussions. 

I am fairly certain God gave me children to keep me humble. 

Brokeback India

The girls were supposed to be writing a note to our 14-year-old sponsor child in India. Kate asks, "Mom, how do you spell 'sorry'?" 

"What are you saying sorry for?" I reply. 

"I want to tell him I am sorry he doesn't have any money." says Kate. 

At which point I intervene and tell her it probably isn't the best idea to point out somebody's poverty.

Squirrel Theology

Every once in a while, the Squirrels come up with some interesting theology questions.  Here are two from this dreary Monday morning:
Kate:  Mom, are we going to ride behind a horse with Jesus?

Elisabeth:  Mom, if God forgives everyone, can he forgive Satan?

I am sure I mumbled something deeply theological in response. 

Hair Clip Tine in the Ear Canal (and Other Bedtime Stories)

By now, the story of Kate turning herself into a human piggy bank has been long enough past that we can laugh at it.  Well, that is until last night, when we realized she may have a fetish for putting weird objects in body orifices. 
Kate came downstairs to me at 10:00 last night, claiming that she thought she had something in her ear.  I asked her if she PUT anything in her ear to which she shook her head slowly.  I asked again, "Are you sure you didn't put anything in your ear?" 

"No, Mama!" she vehemently denied.  I also noticed she was chomping on gum.  Mind you, at this point, she was supposed to have been asleep for an hour.  I asked her where she got gum and she said, "From behind my pillow.  The fancy one I don't use [that would be her pillow sham]." 

After I scolded her chewing gum in bed, made her spit it out and re-brush her teeth, and had fished in the dark for the remaining pack of gum and confiscated it to an unreachable place, I told her I would briefly look in her ear. 

And that's when I saw something pink and plastic wedged where the ear canal narrows.  I called Husband down to hold the flashlight and retrieved my tweezers from my cosmetic bag.  Kate is wailing huge crocodile tears by this point thinking she is going to be pierced by my tweezers, which is a real possibility because I am not sure if I can get this plastic thing out. 

But alas, I was able to get a good enough grip on the piece to remove it from Kate's ear canal.  Turns out it was the tine to a pink sparkly hair clip she wore in her hair last week.  After further interrogation, turns out she DID remember putting it in her ear (intimidating glares from the Momzilla eventually crack even the most hardened criminals) but when asked why, she was blubbering, "I don't KNOW!" 

Which is probably true.  To assume the train of logic makes at the stops in her brain would be false.  For now, we gave her strict instructions not to put ANYTHING into ANY hole in her body including her nose, mouth, or ears.  I didn't mention her hoo-hah because I didn't want the idea to even enter her brain or next time....well, we won't even discuss that. 

You know those weird product warning labels that don't seem to make any sense (like don't use your hair dryer in the shower) and you wonder who would even think to use the product in such a way?  Now you know.  They were written for my Squirrels.