The Human Piggy Bank and other Untold Stories of the E.R.

During our recent family Christmas in Iowa, Katybird came up to me one evening and complained that her "chest hurt".  I had my mom take her pulse and also called over cardiac cath lab superstar brother-out-law Nelson to review her symptoms to see if this was a cause for worry.  I figured Katybird had been free-feeding on loads of sugary junk all day and this was probably heartburn caused by poor diet, lack of sleep, and two hours of intense swimming in the hotel pool. 
Nelson said to keep an eye on her, have her lay down and rest for a while, and see if symptoms persisted.  Mom dosed her up with Maalox and we tucked her in to watch the Disney channel. 

About 11 PM, Katybird said she wanted to see a doctor but again, I told her that we would wait and see in the morning.  Kate's in this stage where any minor cut or scratch makes her weep and wail and demand bandaids and ointment.  I was not about to hit the ER, incur the cost of an out-of-state, non-insured visit, just to have the ER doc roll his eyes and tell me she had heartburn. 

We had a long night.  Kate would wake up every 30-45 minutes and whimper.  I'd reposition her and it helped if I put my hand over her heart.  She didn't want to eat anything but drank a few sips of water around 3 AM. 

At 9:00 AM, I had a morning conference call I could not miss so I sent Kate to a local prompt care with Husband. 

An hour later, I got the call that it appeared Kate had swallowed a lithium battery.  I wracked my brain for where she could have gotten a lithium battery and told Darren I was 99% sure it was probably a coin from her sparkly pink wallet and not a lithium battery.  He said the x-ray made the swallowed object appear beveled and that it definitely looked like a battery and would need to come out ASAP. 

I had my sisters texting and online trying to find out what the protocol is for swallowed batteries.  Turns out that there are 3500 cases a year of swallowed "button" batteries and that the lithium ones are particularly concerning because a chemical emits from the battery that can eat through surrounding tissues after two hours. 

YIKES!  I was so not getting my Mother-of-the-Year crown and sash this time around.  Husband called to our home state to check with the state insurance (the girls are covered by the state medical plan until they reach the age of 18 - part of the adoption contract the state provides to all kids adopted out of foster care) and the state said they would authorize payment (not sure how much but I guess that fun is in front of us). 

I loaded Kate's ladybug pillow pet into my purse, and my sister Erin drove me and my sister Renee (my consulting RN for the day's drama) to meet Husband at prompt care so we could head over to the emergency room. 

 An ER consult later, Katybird donned a hospital gown that could have wrapped around her three times and was tucked into a big bed on wheels.  She was given an Etch-a-Sketch by the nurse and got to pick her flavor of gas mask. 

Soon, she was wheeled back into surgery...which took all of two minutes...and zounds and tally ho...the doctor discovered this in her esophagus, right above the entrance to her stomach...
Two coins, a dime and nickel, sitting perfectly on top of each other...which would look like a lithium battery on an x-ray. 

The doctor used a forceps to remove the money and Kate was right as rain after an hour in recovery.  See evidence in pink below...

So ends the saga of Kate turning herself into a human piggy bank.  For those doing the bookkeeping, here is how the accounting reads:

1)  Deposit = $0.15
2) Withdrawal = $0.15 + several $$$$ more in hospital bills
3)  Remaining coin collection = CONFISCATED BY THE MOMZILLA