Hair Clip Tine in the Ear Canal (and Other Bedtime Stories)

By now, the story of Kate turning herself into a human piggy bank has been long enough past that we can laugh at it.  Well, that is until last night, when we realized she may have a fetish for putting weird objects in body orifices. 
Kate came downstairs to me at 10:00 last night, claiming that she thought she had something in her ear.  I asked her if she PUT anything in her ear to which she shook her head slowly.  I asked again, "Are you sure you didn't put anything in your ear?" 

"No, Mama!" she vehemently denied.  I also noticed she was chomping on gum.  Mind you, at this point, she was supposed to have been asleep for an hour.  I asked her where she got gum and she said, "From behind my pillow.  The fancy one I don't use [that would be her pillow sham]." 

After I scolded her chewing gum in bed, made her spit it out and re-brush her teeth, and had fished in the dark for the remaining pack of gum and confiscated it to an unreachable place, I told her I would briefly look in her ear. 

And that's when I saw something pink and plastic wedged where the ear canal narrows.  I called Husband down to hold the flashlight and retrieved my tweezers from my cosmetic bag.  Kate is wailing huge crocodile tears by this point thinking she is going to be pierced by my tweezers, which is a real possibility because I am not sure if I can get this plastic thing out. 

But alas, I was able to get a good enough grip on the piece to remove it from Kate's ear canal.  Turns out it was the tine to a pink sparkly hair clip she wore in her hair last week.  After further interrogation, turns out she DID remember putting it in her ear (intimidating glares from the Momzilla eventually crack even the most hardened criminals) but when asked why, she was blubbering, "I don't KNOW!" 

Which is probably true.  To assume the train of logic makes at the stops in her brain would be false.  For now, we gave her strict instructions not to put ANYTHING into ANY hole in her body including her nose, mouth, or ears.  I didn't mention her hoo-hah because I didn't want the idea to even enter her brain or next time....well, we won't even discuss that. 

You know those weird product warning labels that don't seem to make any sense (like don't use your hair dryer in the shower) and you wonder who would even think to use the product in such a way?  Now you know.  They were written for my Squirrels.