Hairy Times

I never knew black women had such hair woes. I should have had a clue when an African-American (AA) woman in my foster care licensing class begged any of us who received AA girls as placements to "PLEASE get some help with their hair." I figured I could do my own research and figure this out, right?

WRONG!

I stood in the hair aisle at Walmart looking like a man in a scrapbooking store. There was wrapping lotion, hair mayonnaise, pink hair oil, olive oil spray, plastic shower caps, and things with words like "shea butter" and "jojoba oil" (never seen a shea being milked or a jojoba tree in my life). I diligently read the back of each container which promised silky smooth hair after application. I saw beautiful black women with shiny straight hair smiling at me from boxes of "no lye" hair relaxers assuring me, the rookie do-it-yourselfer, that I could figure out "black hair". Armed with a little something of everything, I bravely made my first attempts.

Somehow, overnight, S & K's hair turns into a tangled mess in the back so I spent the first few mornings trying to untangle it. I slathered on hair oil, hair lotion, etc. until I had oily goo running down my arms and felt like Elvis during a fried egg sandwich binge. I would wrestle the hair into some semblence of ponytails and stick in enough hairbows to cover my efforts. A strong round of olive oil finishing spray and off to school they go. Only to have them return with their hair completely dry again and starting to spring off their heads in a lion's mane halo.

Thursday was picture day for S so I was especially nervous. She wanted to wear her hair down and as best I tried, I could only get it to stay perfectly horizontal out from all sides of her head. We finally settled for low ponytails and I prayed that the photographer would be waiting for her to get off the bus.

It was not to be. She told me that she didn't get her picture taken until the afternoon. I have a feeling that her first grade picture will be one that she shows everyone years from now and says, "I don't know what my mother was thinking...sending me to school like that."

So now I am weighing my options on things like braids and beads and hair extensions and realize we may have to add a second mortgage to our home to afford to care properly for black hair. And I'd like to find the hair models for the relaxers and sue them for WAY false advertising. No lye.