Queen of Defiance

Something has happened between pre-school and Kindergarten to turn my little baby bird Kate into a defiant little diva and it's about to send me over the edge.

We had the normal Kindergarten curiosity problems when I received a note sent home with her indicating Kate was caught peeking in on a teacher going to the bathroom. She was made to apologize to the teacher and when I asked her what possessed her to spy, she said (at first) her three favorite words, "I don't know!" and then confessed that she wanted to see if there were three people in the bathroom. We had to have a frank discussion about people's "private 'bidness'" and she nodded like she understood. I have learned that she is very good at faking like she understands and can put on the most contrite face and it doesn't mean diddly squat in behavior change.

Then we started receiving notes that she was refusing to participate in PE games and when another teacher came into her class, Kate was rolling on the floor instead of listening. And pulling her hands inside her shirt and doing only the Lord knows what under there. Mind you, this is the same kid whom, when my previous pastor went to introduce himself, she has her hands down the back of her pants. I could have crawled under the carpet, I was so mortified.

I told Kate that if I heard any more reports of her being defiant and disobedient, she and I were going to have some "intense discussions" that just might involve my hand swatting her rear end. She bawled and promised not to do it again. We had a game of practicing to obey where I would tell her to do something and she had to tear off like a flash and comply. Normally, she has one gear...and it's called "neutral"...I've had to set a timer for her to finish breakfast in the morning and get ready for school. Many is the night when Darren is pushing her to finish her supper because she is slower than molasses in the month of January.

I thought our stern talks and "reinforcement" were making headway until yesterday when I had yet another note that her music teacher asked her to participate in the sing-a-long and she refused whining that she didn't want to do it. It became so annoying that he sent her out of class to sit on the steps outside.

Now, some of you that know the Little Baby Bird are shaking your head in disbelief that sweet little Kate could be such a diva...but she is one passive-aggressive defiant little thang when she puts her mind to it. And it seems her mind is to it a lot lately. I am at my wits end trying to decide what to do. We have taken away toys, made her write several apologies over and over again, spanked, given time outs, given time in the corner. I am all out of strategies. Sometimes I do think she doesn't mean to disobey, she just becomes distracted...like she hears the directive but then sees a shiny ball and all she can think about is the shiny ball.

So I pose this dilemma to my parent network out there reading this little known blog. If you have a solution, I am all ears...