Why Wild Animals Eat Their Young

I looked out my window tonight and saw a full moon...but I could have just as well have guessed based on the week I am having. As if the daily adventures of two ADHD squirrels isn't enough (and by ADHD, think of Mexican jumping beans on a caffeine bender), the week got more interesting when Kate fell off the see saw. I am not one of those hyper medical moms that rush their kid to the ER for every sniffle but I kept looking at her arm, testing her functionality, checking for inflammation and warmth, when I noticed it was hanging kind of funny.

Better safe than sorry, I put the two squirrels in the van and rushed to the local prompt care. Elisabeth doesn't do well in enclosed spaces when she has to sit still and be quiet longer than 2.3 milliseconds so she was bouncing around the exam room, getting into everything. When I told her to get off the doctor's spinning stool, she started to whine. I'm in a public place so I really can't discipline as normal (did I mention spanking is finally okay?!!!!), so I used my best threatening, under my breath voice to try to get her to chillax.

Finally, the doctor came in and examined Kate. He couldn't see a visible fracture but announced that Kate's forearm bone was "bowed". He gave us a referral to see an orthopedic doctor a few days later. Kate's arm was wrapped in a splint and we were sent home with instructions not to get it wet.

Right.

Despite my best plastic bag and tape job, Kate got it wet. And she got it wet again in the bathtub despite Husband's warnings for her to keep it on the edge of the tub. We went to to the ortho doctor today and he cut the splint and wrapping off, only to find leaves underneath the splint.

Wonderful.

He decided she should have a cast for four weeks and she picked hot pink. The nurse tried to get Kate to rate her pain but she didn't have a clue what she was supposed to be doing. Meanwhile, Elisabeth - again - was bouncing off the walls in the exam room (sigh).

Then off to the social security administration office to change their social security numbers and get cards with their names on them. We endured an interminable government office wait that made the DMV look like a McDonald's drive-thru. The squirrels decided they would hop across the waiting area while I was trying to get the forms filled out and information copied for the clerk.

Did I also mention that Kate cut her own hair? Not all of it....just a large chunk out of the left side...and down to the scalp. Too big an area to braid/cornrow around so amidst the weeping and gnashing of teeth, I had to cut the rest of her hair off. She looks like a little shorn sheep. Black hair takes FOREVER to grow so she will be my shorn sheep for a while. I should have known this was forthcoming when I saw several strands of blond Barbie hair in the basement that someone had cut off the dolls. But neither squirrel was 'fessing up despite both Husband and I warning them that punishment for lying was twice as bad as for cutting off Barbie hair.

So this is my week...and I am staring down the barrel of an eight and a half hour drive tomorrow and a week long stay in my hometown with two squirrels and no husband. After today, I understand why animals in the wild eat their young.