My Life as a Zookeeper

I don't know when I became the activities director for the household but trying to keep two ADHD squirrels occupied this summer is going to drive me to drink! My day goes like this:

Shortly after breakfast, Elisabeth announces she is going to jump on the trampoline and wants Kate to go with her. Kate whines that she does not want to go. Elisabeth whines that she has no one to play with. I tell both of them to get their hind parts out to the trampoline and jump until they are out of breath. They go racing across the morning dew grass, jump for two minutes, then come trailing grass into the house announcing that they are bored.

I tell them to go play in the sandbox. They get all the sand toys out of the garage. They dump sand over the side and then decide to take buckets of water from the pool to the sandbox and turn it into a swamp. They are now covered from head to toe in sandy mud including mounds of sand in their hair. They come trailing in two minutes later declaring they are bored. They forget to take the sand toys out and the two hounds have buckets and shovels lodged in their jaws and are chewing like mad. Never let it be said that the hounds miss an opportunity to feed their oral fixation.

I tell the girls to go play downstairs. Elisabeth puts on her favorite pink princess dress. Kate puts on her pink leotard. They escape out the walkout basement and are in the pool. I tell them to get out of the pool but they whine that they want to go swimming. I tell them they need swimming suits. They come in, trailing water and wet grass and tear apart their swim drawer. They need help getting their suits on, I put their swim caps on, find their goggles, locate their swim toys, and spray them head to toe with sunscreen. They gleefully frolic in the pool for two minutes, then a ruckus ensues when Elisabeth dumps water on Kate, who could win an Academy Award for Best Actress in a Dramatic Screen Play with her alligator tears and wailing. They both come busting into the house, Elisabeth justifying why Kate is crying, Kate wailing at the top of her lungs. They tell me they are done swimming.

It's now 9:05 AM and I am ready to go back to bed. They are constantly "bored" despite having sidewalk chalk, a pool, a sandbox, a trampoline, roller skates, jump ropes, bikes, DVDs, books, Barbies, dress up clothes, an arts and crafts table, puzzles...need I go on?

So much for lazy summer days. I drew up a schedule for them today and told them I am running this like a school...only MUCH longer recesses in which (God help me) if they tell me they are bored, they will be pulling weeds by the driveway. We made up a list of "fun things to do" and they are to consult that if they need ideas. Somehow I grew up on a farm with no TV and yet, I don't ever remember whining to my mom all day that I had nothing to do. I had to can and freeze every fruit and vegetable known to mankind and walk beans and mow the lawn. I tell my hard luck stories to the girls but they fall on deaf ears (sigh).

I will be so happy to see that big yellow bus lumbering to the end of our driveway, I may just plant a big one right on Marvin the Bus Driver's kisser. He'll probably skip my stop from then on but oh well.